Today

Today is a peaceful calm day for me. I spent most of the day reflecting on the beauty of this world. I was amazed at how I have been overlooking the beauty in simplicity for almost 30 years. As I sat in the doctor's office for the 5th time this week, I realized that I have been seeing the same people in the lab every day this week. Despite my current situation, I am rarely ill. My blood pressure is normal, my cholesterol is good, my heart rate is normal. Medically, I am in good health.
I think about the little girl in the lab, with the pink strapless dress on with white flowers. She wears these cute wooden clogged sandals with a heel on them that is obviously too high for her tiny legs. She is wearing a baseball cap to cover her bald head. Her voice is so cheerful and sweet. She calls the lab techs by their first name. Sharon, the lab tech, asks the little girl did she watch Dancing with the Stars. The little girl goes into great detail about how the judging is always unfair...and so on and so on. The strapless dress she has on shows her arms and the painful needle marks. I am sure she makes regular visits to the lab because of her condition. While she is in the lab to maintain her life, my children are at the park or at Chucky Cheese without a care in the world.
I am listening to an older man explain the complications of diabetes to the nurse. He has to be careful of his diet, take insulin every singled day and has become paranoid of knowing that every ailment will be dangerously affected by his diabetes. The nurse is obviously affected by the man's complaints. Her eyes begin to fill with tears. I can see that old man's instincts are kicking in and he notices the nurse's reaction and he tells her in a fatherly voice, "Honey, I ain't dead, I just need some attention!" The nurse laughs and blushes! Although, the old man has a sense of humor, I know that his diabetes is burdonsome and painful. In addition to the pain from the complications that I am having, it is painful going to the lab everyday for blood work and pelvic exams. I cannot imagine having to endure that as a daily routine.
So, to everyone that is wondering how I am able to keep my head up during my current storm, I am just thanking God, that I have the ability to keep my head up during this time. I do not plan to have a nervous breakdown. I honor the wisdom of the old man. I admire the strength of that little girl. I am praying that God will grant me the same during my trial. I do have my moments, but they are just that, moments.
The peace and love that has surrounded me during this time is immeasurable. I can truly feel the prayers that have been sent up for me and my family. I know that my peace is not coming from my prayers alone, but from the prayers of the family and friends that truly care for me.